Halloween Sucks!!!

So, in trying to forget that I am not pg....again...I decided to join Brad in a little halloween fun which went really well (because I was really drunk) until the car ride home when he told me that not only was one person at the party not drinking due to pg but two. The one I knew about just recently had a baby die of SIDS so I am THRILLED that she is pg again. But the other, Id rather slit my wrists than know she was with child. Sometimes I honestly think dying would be an easier solution to this mess. Anyway, so halloween sucked. I officially have no holiday's left to enjoy. To top off the night, Brad say's "there is a reason for everything" Seriously? to which I replied "yes there must be a really good reason" I mean WTF? Are u fucking kidding right now? What would that "good" reason be? Someone please tell me so that I don't go insane trying to find it because, I honestly....don't get it.

I will spare you the suspense.....

Im not preggers. Not with child, no bun in the oven, not knocked up....I think you catch my drift.
I got my period today. Can't say Im surprised because...well...Im not. Im pretty pissed actually. Not because Im not preggers cause we all knew that was a likely outcome but because I have to be at work tomorrow at 615am so that I could make my HCG blood pregnancy test tomorrow afternoon. For obvious reasons, I am no longer in need of that appointment...yet I still have to get my happy..errr...unhappy ass out of bed and to work at O' fuck its way too early O' clock. Nice. Could mother nature have humored me for one measley day!? Nope. I apparently was Hitler in my past life and now I must pay for the evil I caused.

Normal

The bloodwork I had done on Friday was "normal." Imagine that...a perfectly normal healthy woman who can't get pg. *sigh* It was a progesterone test which basically tells you if you ovulated. Progesterone prepares the lining of your uterus for pregnancy and then supports the pregnancy until the placenta takes over. The level was 22.5. They want to see anything over 15. So, pretty normal. Not high, not low...just plain old "normal" ....average if you will. I guess I should be happy but Im indifferent. I don't *want* anything to be wrong. I just either want to be pregnant or a reason for why I am not after all this time! KWIM?(that stands for "know what I mean). So I have a HCG test on Friday. That will tell me if I am preggers or not. I will take a home test too since its halloween and I want to drink if Im not and the blood draw is at 330pm so I won't have results until monday. Blah. Wish me luck!!!

just one

eggie...that is. I was hoping for more but there was just 1 really big one. So hopefully, its the magical bean! Its on my left side. I have no signs of ovulating yet and Im on Day 13 so something should be getting started here soon.

I go back on the 24th for a progesterone check. This is a hormone you release after you ovulate...so its basically to ensure that I actually did ovulate. Then Oct 31 (Halloween...for those of you that didn't know..haha) I go in for a beta HCG which is a blood test that tells you how preggers you are. Hopefully, I make it to that point!

On another front, I started that job a couple weeks ago. I mostly like it. I am working with the 1yr old classroom. I just love that age. Not to whiney but still cute and cuddly. We are looking for a house again. Im really nervous about that but I am sick of the rental we are in. All my crap is in boxes still and hey....maybe my eggs are holding out for a nice place to live when they become a real girl or boy. Gotta love pinnochio!

hugs,
nikki

Grow eggies grow...

Today I started the litter making medicine. Its called Clomid. Im sure you have heard of it. I am starting off with the lowest dose...so hopefully it will be more like twins and not sextuplets! Heck, who am I kidding!? I will take whatever I get from 1 to 6! Im stopping at six since I haven't heard of anyone successfully carrying more than that. The whole goal here is to be successful!

Anyway, the side effects are headaches, mood swings, night sweats, hyper sensitive ovaries, weight gain (as if I haven't gained enough through all this), and some other standard ones like naseau, diarreah, death....LOL!

If you see me on the front news of the paper cause I strangled my husband this week....you will all know why. Haha...Im kidding. Im sure the mood swings can't be THAT bad...God I hope not!!!

Monday I have an ultrasound to see how many eggies there are! wish me luck. I will update then!!

Depressed

My period came. On day 27. So my last cycle was 26 days. So that horrible, expensive test did NOTHING. *sigh* I have nothing else to say.

Insurance vent....

Got my insurance statement today for the test I had a couple of weeks ago. The one my doctor quoted would be like $892 if my insurance doesn't pay. Of course I called my insurance prior to the test to find out and apparently they cannot tell you what will be covered prior to getting billed by the Dr.? What? Does that make ANY sense? Stupid. So I went into expecting to have to pay but hoping I wouldn't.

Back to the point....They covered most of it. HOORAY! Here's what ticks me off though. The Dr. submitted charges for like $800 and some change....it was all broken up into costs for labs, surgery, Dr. services ect... Im not going to do the exact math. Well, Insurance only "allowed" them to charge $198 for the surgery, $12 for labs, and $62 for the Dr. services. So that's a whopping $272. Of that I have to pay $130 which compared to almost $900 is great. But WTF!? They would have made me pay 3x what my insurance "allowed" if they didn't cover it. So not only is the company that I pay $60 a month for insurance going to make me pay half of their "allowed" coverage, they got a 60% discount! Un-fucking real! Our country's healthcare coverage is fucked!

That's my vent. LOL. But, I am happy that I only have to pay $130! Thank GOD for that!

p.s. I should be starting my new job any day now! Horray for getting out of the house again!!!