December 16th, 2008

this is the day of my first ultrasound. to date I have not had any morning sickness and overall feel pretty much the same as I did when I was un-pregnant so naturally I am a little nervous for this first appt. I have been praying daily for good news and that this will finally be my turn to experience pregnancy and all the fun and not so fun things that go along with this. We get to the appt and the dr. seems a bit concerned that I haven't been barfing my brains out for the past two weeks. Now I am more nervous. We do the ultrasound and

BABY!!! and HEARTBEAT!!!......oh but wait. Save the excitment because followed by that very brief moment of happiness my dr. says "its a REALLY (emphasis on really) slow heartbeat." Followed by my husband who says "what does that mean?" According to the Dr. I am measuring a full week behind. I should be 6wks5days and the baby is measuring 5wks6days. So we are either not as far along as thought to be or my baby is dieing. Fun Stuff. I mean....really why would it go right? After 2 years of HELL why would *I* deserve to go on to have a happy healthy pregnancy? We schedule an ultrasound for the following week to determine whether or not it will be a viable pregancy.