Love

Now this is love :-)



and this



The End. Happy Valentines Day!

Seriously Overdue

Soooo...in my last post I promised to update in just a few days. Major fail. Sorry.

Where to begin? I guess I should start with Christmas. It was pretty good. We don't live near any family so it was just us 3. Which was ok. We opened presents, ate dinner and relaxed most of the day.











In other updates....My baby is SO big. He doesn't seem like a baby anymore and that makes me really sad.



He still sleeps in our room..although I am not sure that its really for the best at this point. He is pretty noisy which means I am up a lot. I want to move him to his own bed because I want to do what's best for him and the longer I wait the harder it may be for him but I don't want to because I love him and he is my baby and I will miss him and he still eats once a night and I am too lazy to walk to his room. It's a conundrum.

Ry is playing all the time now. Playing while he eats, playing when he should be sleeping, playing by himself, playing with mommy and daddy. Just playing all the time. His smile makes me smile. I love him so much and even a tiny bit more when he is happy. Maybe that's wrong of me.



He found his feet a couple of days ago so that's the new favorite thing to do.



He is eating food! He loves it! The Pedi wanted us to start with orange veggies first since he has some tummy sensitivities so he has had sweet potato, carrots and squash. We start to introduce cereal in a week. Speaking of food...I decided to make my own baby food. I only want him to eat organic for now and it's really not easy to find in normal grocery stores in my area....believe it or not. So I am making it...except for carrots since there is some dilemma with nitrates. It's actually a lot easier to make then I had imagined. He likes it. It makes me feel good.

Things have been so busy but so fulfilling lately. I never knew how hard it was being a mom would be but I also never knew how rewarding it would be. I am so thankful for every minute.

One Year Ago Today

I was just 6 weeks pregnant and looking forward to the new year when I would *hopefully* get to meet the precious little baby inside me. I say *hopefully* because I was also still so worried something would happen to that pregnancy since the previous one did not make it past 11 weeks. That loss has changed my life in ways I would never have imagined.

As I sit here today, with my beautiful baby boy sleeping next to me I can say that I am so so so blessed as I look forward to 2011. I am in constant awe of my son and the ways that he has changed my life, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am forever grateful for this child.

With today also comes some sadness as I learned that a fellow blogger has lost one of her twin girls. I cannot even imagine the pain her family is enduring over loosing a child and the mixed emotions that must be there as they celebrate and pray for the twin who has survived. I hope that 2011 brings them some peace and comfort as they grieve the loss of their daughter.

I promise to do an update post in the next day or so. December was one busy month! I will leave you with some pictures and also with the hope that 2011 brings you everything you have ever hoped for.

Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thankful for this year. Even though its 3 days after Thanksgiving Day I still feel like I should post about it ;-)

I am so incredibly thankful for the sleeping baby in my arms right now. I can't even describe the way it feels to be blessed with such a miracle.



I am thankful for my wonderful husband. He is my rock. 4 of our 7 years were plauged with infertility and while there were times I wasn't sure we would survive as a couple I am so thankful we did. He is an amazing father and so supportive to me.



I am so thankful for our home...despite it's desperate need of updates in so many places we are so lucky to have a place for Rylan to grow in.

I am thankful that we have food to eat and that we are able to provide Rylan with everything he needs and most of what he will want.

I am thankful for my dogs. I know that this may sound weird but they got me through a really rough time in my life. They are my loyal friends, my loyal protectors and have offered me so much love. On my darkest days they were there with a cuddle or a wet sloppy kiss. I owe them so much. Having Rylan around has been a hard transition for them and I am working on keeping balance because for so long they were my babies.



I am thankful for our family who have been so happy to have Rylan in their lives. They weren't always the most supportive of my infertility but I think they just didn't get it and so I am working on letting those feelings go.

There are so many more things to be thankful for. Last Thanksgiving Brad and I underwent IUI at 7am and just two weeks later found out that we were pregnant. I am forever thankful for that day and forever in debt to the Lord for this precious gift.

I know that this is a hard time of the year for many of my friends that are still waiting for thier miracles. I wish I had some sort of insight or words that would make them feel better. I don't. But I want them to know that they are never far from my mind and that I continue to pray for them. I have to believe that it will happen for them. I just hope it's soon.

the letter

I know it's been forever but I started back at work and well I really literally have no time to myself. I am making a point to post about this because it frustrates me and while I am so incredibly blessed to have a tiny miracle sitting next to me...it brings back all of those feelings of infertility that cursed me for so many years.

Last night I got home from work...kissed my munchkin and opened up the mail. In the mail was a letter from our insurance company addressed to me. My husband is the primary person who carries the insurance so it was a little odd since most of the stuff comes in his name. Anyway...I open the letter and start to read and it says that they periodically do a medication review and noticed that I had been prescribed one or more of the following drugs...then it listed every fertility drug under the sun (even progesterone!). It went on to say that effective January 1, 2011 all of these medications will need prior approval and that anyone under the age of 50 using these drugs for Assisted Reproduction of any kind will be denied coverage. WTF!? Really...anyone under 50? Because if you are 50 and need to get pregnant...that's cool. I mean..don't get me wrong anyone who is 50 and still struggling should be afforded any chance available but what makes me mad is they did that on purpose because not many 50 year olds are still trying to get pregnant.

So again, I am incredibly blessed to have had my medications covered and that I was able to conceive and safely deliver my little man. I am in no way ready to try for another one but it does make me sad that when we want to it may be more of a struggle financially next time around. It also makes me sad that there are many women out there who are still trying who just received the same letter and only have 2 months notice that their meds will no longer be covered. Jerks.

I will leave you with a picture of my little man since it would be a crime not to share his cuteness. Thanks for listening and I will try to get on here more often ;-)

Mommyhood

I know its been quite a while since I posted last. Being a mommy is the most amazing thing. It is also incredibly time consuming and exhausting. I knew that I would be busier and I knew I would be tired but I didn't know that I would get up at 6am for the day and that the next time I would check the clock it would be 3pm...in what seems like the blink of an eye. But again, every moment is amazing and incredible and the most meaningful thing I have ever experienced.

We have had a couple of bumps along the way but we are adjusting to being parents and Rylan is adjusting to being in charge of the house ;-) I think he is doing better at this new gig than we are. HA!

I do plan on a post of my birth story and some other important details but it's late and I want to sneak a nap in before he wakes up. I will leave you with pics of mommy and little man...........

Update & Pictures!

I don't have a lot of time to write a long post but in short everyone is doing really well. Rylan ended up developing jau.ndice and has to be under photo-therapy lights but fortunately he can stay home with us. We have an appt tomorrow to re-check the levels and we are hoping he will be able to discontinue the lights. He has his nights and days totally confused which made for an interesting first few nights but we are slowly adjusting. ;-) Even with no sleep life couldn't be more amazing and I am so incredibly thankful for every moment with him.

and now.....PICTURES (cause we all know that's what you wanted anyway)