past my Angel's EDD (estimated due date)! It was August 6, 2009. I didn't cry nearly as much as I thought I would. It was a crappy week though. Emotionally draining. The date coming was super sucky in itself however, if anything could be suckier (and yes something could) it was the fact that I haven't been pregnant for 8+ months. So, if it sucks to be told that after a year of trying you are infertile...try being infertile for 2, getting pregnant (finally), loosing it only to be told that you would be "SO MUCH MORE FERTILE NOW THAT YOU ACTUALLY GOT PREGNANT"...only to be once again almost to the "1yr your totally infertile mark"...again. Fun stuff.
Other than the total suckage of my infertility, the loss of my first baby and being infertile for the second time in 3 years...not much has been going on. I am pretty sure AF is around the corner. Which is kind of a good thing since its actually close to being on time. Usually not the case in an unmedicated cycle. Today is day 28. Last month there wasn't much babymaking going on. Brad told me I was getting fat and well that combined with the whole due date thing just really fucked up our sex life...or what was left of it.
I don't know if I am going to do the IUI or not. Right now I need Aunt Flo to have come yesterday (which she didn't) or in like 3 days. Pretty sure she is going to come in the middle somewhere. like tomorrow or the next day. Just so she can fuck with any chance I had at an IUI. All about the timing. We shall see. More to come on this once she shows. I honestly don't care at this point. I've pretty much given up any hope or faith that I will ever be a mom and apparently I am so emotionally numb that I can't even cry about it anymore. So thats my post. Pretty cheerful, ey?
Thoughts on Enshittification
16 hours ago
5 comments:
You aren't alone...I pretty much have the same mindset as you at this point. July was our first cycle after my lap and we failed. Big surprise.
Anyway - I'm glad you made it past your EDD and are still alive and kickin'. Sometimes I think the days leading up to a big event like that hurt so much more than the actual day. Because you know it's coming and thoughts consume you. I hope AF comes and goes quickly and you can proceed with the IUI this month. Good luck!
Im sorry to hear about the BFN. Total suckage. ((((HUGS))))
Glad you shared your blog link - I am excited to follow you in your journey. I'm sorry AF has messed everything up for you.
I feel like time is going slow but fast, ya know? I feel like you just posted on bbz about your loss and it is already 8+ months. I am sad for you and with you. Also glad you shared your blog link.
Im glad I finally shared it too and now I can follow you guys! I had no idea so many of you blogged!!
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