negative nelly

about the lack of support and understanding that my family and friends have for me and my infertility.... is it just that they don't understand? I mean, even my husband of 5 whole years who I have moved countless places and given up many things for...cares as much as an angry mountain lion lurking in hopes that at any moment I will be weak enough to pounce on. At that weakest moment, when it seems like life couldn't possibly be more cruel, he rips my heart out with his teeth. How great is that?

There is no "Im sorry, I understand that this must be very difficult" no "Im right here for you" nope. nothing. zip. zero. zilch. Its more of an annoyance that I even care that I cannot make my own body work for long enough for one of his millions of sperm to find my stupid uncooperative egg that apparently is more interested in playing dodgeball than performing the very function it exists for. I feel like ripping my ovaries out of my body and throwing them at him!

Further, I want to know what the hell is wrong with being a "negative nelly?" seriously. Why is it that everyone on this earth wants to see "positive polly" all the freaking time? Maybe if "positive polly" was trying for two years to accomplish something that most drug addicts accomplish in one night...she wouldn't be so flippin happy all the time. Just a thought. Maybe people should just assume that "negative nelly" has had her fair share of negative experiences and just wants to feel the pain for a little while. Back off....let her be. Then again, you could be like my husband and just make it worse for her. I mean, thats another good option.